6 Months

6 Months.

That doesn't seem like a long time, but it's amazing how much your life can change, in just that short amount of time.

6 months ago today, I woke up to what I thought would be a normal Friday. I went to work at 8 am, and came home at 4:30 pm. That night Bryan had to work, so I decided I'd go hang out with my mom. I called her to see what she was doing, and she was on her way home from work, but had to stop at the store. So, I decided to just meet her at the house, and then when she got there we would figure out what to do for dinner.

I got to my mom's house around 6 pm, and a neighbor was outside that I hadn't talked to in a few years, so we chatted for a bit and caught up on each other's lives. I went inside the house, and at the time I didn't know it, but my life was going to be flipped upside down, and nothing would ever be the same.

I went inside, turned off the alarm, and let Marley outside. I went into the living room and my cousin, Shelbi, was on the couch, and it looked like she was asleep. I went and shook her foot to try and wake her up, and she didn't wake up. That's when I noticed that her chest wasn't moving. I felt for a pulse, and I remember thinking "she's really cold", and I couldn't feel a pulse. At that point, I called my mom and told her that Shelbi wasn't breathing, and that she needed to come straight home. She asked if I had called 911, and I said I hadn't, so she told me that's what I needed to do.

I called 911 and explained the situation, gave them my name and address, and then the person on the phone asked me to try to get Shelbi on floor so I could administer CPR. So, I put the phone on the coffee table, and tried to move her. She was too stiff, and heavy, and at that point I knew she was gone, but it hadn't really sunk in yet. So I gave her a hug and kissed her on the cheek, and got back on the phone with the 911 person and told her I couldn't move her. At that point, she asked me if I thought Shelbi was gone. At that point, it sunk in that Shelbi was gone, and I told the rep that yes she was gone. I started to hyperventilate and the person on the phone just kept telling me to take deep breaths and just keep talking to her. She told me that the paramedics were on the way and they should be there soon.

The paramedics and police showed up, and I told the 911 rep they were there, so she hung up. I told the paramedics Shelbi was up in the living room, and then a cop told me he had to ask me some questions. At that point, I just remember thinking that I needed to get out of the house, so we went out to the porch and I started telling him what I knew.

While I was talking to the cop, my mom called, so I took her call and told her that Shelbi was gone. She asked me what I said, so I told her again that Shelbi gone. I told her I had to continue talking to the cop, so we hung up. The cop asked a couple more questions. While we were talking, one of my mom's neighbors came over, and they told the cop they would take me to their house, and if they needed to come talk to me, that's where I'd be. I just remember them putting their arms around my shoulders and walking me to their house.

When we got to their house, one of the other neighbors came over, and I just started telling them what happened in a kind of daze. At that point, they asked if I would like a Priesthood blessing, and I said that I would. So the husband's gave me a blessing, and I don't know exactly what was said in the blessing, but I remember just feeling at piece for the moment.

After that, my mom and her friend's got there and I remember getting up and talking to them. I just remember thinking that this was going to devastate my aunt. Shelbi was her world, same for my grandma.

My mom had already talked to my aunt, so they were going to come down that evening. After I had written my report for the cops, we went to my mom's friend's house, and we were there for a while. The detective called my mom and we went back to the house around 10 pm. We were at the house for a little bit, and then my aunt, grandma, uncle, and some of my aunt's friends got to my mom's house around 11 pm. We went outside and talked, cried, and hugged, and then went back inside. We stayed up the whole night, I think we only slept for a couple of hours before we got back up.

October 4, 2013 was the longest and worst day of my life. It was the day that I lost my only girl cousin. The cousin I was closest to. The cousin that terrorized me when we were kids. The cousin that I joked with, laughed with, fought with, grew up with. The cousin that I had so many plans with for the future with.

October 4, 2013 was the day that I understood a lot more of the Plan of Salvation. It made me realize that because of Christ's sacrifice, I will be able to see Shelbi again. It made me realize that we are a forever family. It made me realize, that even though she's not here in body, she is here in spirit. It made me realize that even though she is gone from sight, is she never gone from memory, or from my heart. It made me realize the love that God has for all of His children, that he would sacrifice His Son for us, so that we could see our family members again, and that death is not the end.

So here's to you Shelb-a-loo! I love you, and I miss you every single day. But I know that I will see you again.

--Brianna--